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I'm coming out. I lost my mind.

Coming out of where?

My cocoon.

Before that it was a cage. Well, really it was an invisible box.

I've been consciously trying to break free from it for many years.

I've always been a seeker. A seeker of truth. I've always striven to live outside the box, to the beat of my own drum. Yet I was always at war with another aspect of myself that just wanted to fit in, please others & belong.

I questioned the meaning of life, death and EVERYTHING in between from an early age.

The more I questioned reality and what the cost of belonging was, the more things didn't add up for me, and the more I wanted out of reality. I was anxious, under-whelmed & racing around.

In 2020 my world was flipped upside down—as it was for most of the world. I struggled with the thought of losing my mind. It wasn't because of covid, although that certainly made things more interesting. But I had divorced the year before, sold my house, shut down a business and left my hometown. My whole world looked entirely different. I've spent most of my time in the dark and in solitude since then.

My old ways of thinking and being wanted to be lost and I needed a lot of space & time to process. So I surrendered and made it a priority to lose my mind.

In 2020, humanity was unified, beyond borders and boxes. The internet and media made it clear that one thing affected all of us; it changed how we lived and what we talked about. In our own versions of isolation, our boxes (aka comfort zones) were busted wide open. We were forced to find new ways of thinking, doing and being. Many of us neither had the skill, resources or community to do so.

We began by physically distancing (misnamed “social distancing”) which actually turned into socially distancing when opinions became divided and uncertainty flooded our world. The opportunity to lose one's mind was ripe for the picking.

For those able to consciously navigate through this time, it has been a great blessing.

Fears, guilt and shame are right up in our faces to be cocooned, loved, and transformed. Life has been, and still is, painful at times. But the ups, downs and sideways events, situations and emotions have created the space for a new mind. One we desperately need. The habits we created to survive will no longer serve us when it's time to thrive.

The gift in losing one's mind, (when done consciously), is that we get to see the habits and patterns that have been running the show, keeping us divided, in fear and in a box. However uncomfortable, we begin to embrace new habits born from faith and the power of the heart.

I'm now coming out of my cocoon with a fresh mind and new outlook on life. My wings have grown and I'm ready to fly free—with no flight plan! I’m a bit scared, but I’ve learned to embrace the mystery, and I know I’m going to be OK.

Thanks for reading.

much love,

Sara Di Flow


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