A big life marker. ⚡️ April 1st 2022
Coming out and standing for something is scary! It’s not for the faint of heart.
Tomorrow my ‘Gold Story’ article is released in the @unitedcoloursofdesignmagazine and it marks a big ‘coming out’ for me after a rather dark night.
A story of being totally stripped naked for a deep transformation.
With hindsight, I see this gold photoshoot marked the end of one phase of my life and set the tone for the next which would require A LOT of letting go.
This shoot marked some other important things you can read in the magazine if you are interested in doing so.
For this post on the eve of the release, I felt inspired to post about visibility and self-love after spending time in reflection.
Prior to this gold shoot 5 years ago, I spent my teens and young adulthood with body shame, body dysmorphia — hours of energy wasted on not feeling good enough. Posing naked with gold paint on my body marked many things for me, one of them being an acceptance and love for my body, that I had previously not been able to celebrate.
This workout picture was taken 11 years ago while on set for a DVD shoot. (It just came up in my Facebook memories the other day and had me reflecting deeper). I was flown to the islands to stay in a villa for a week to shoot a couple of workouts and yoga on the beach. It was amazing and a dream come true! Yet leading up to it I could barely enjoy the experience. I didn’t feel good enough, I thought I SHOULD look better. (Which I realize is ridiculous to someone on the outside, because I was fit and beautiful. I even felt ridiculous feeling the way I did then, but alas those were the thoughts and feelings running through my mind.)
The power of our mind. We can take something beautiful and perceive it as less than. It can prevent us from enjoying the moment, even the beautiful ones we’ve always dreamt about!
It was so easy for me to see the other women’s different body shapes and sizes as truly beautiful, and thought it was such a shame that we felt shame for our own shape and size.
I vowed to begin to make a change with me, to really learn how to love, accept and cherish my body and the moment. I began to lead body love workshops in my community and I watched my relationship with my body evolve into something truly beautiful. I began to learn about mindfulness and taught meditation 101 workshops. My mind and body slowly developed a more harmonious relationship.
…or so I thought at the time of this Gold Photoshoot.
As it turns out, I had some deeper work to do. My mind might have felt harmony with my body at some level, but I would discover some issues with my heart and that took me on a journey to trust my body at even deeper levels.
I’m still on that journey. I believe the self-love journey is one that will continue for the rest of my life. There are deeper depths both beautiful and messy we can always go to if we choose.
I know the body and heart hold wisdom beyond anything the mind can comprehend. I know that our ability to listen to subtle and unseen energy can bring us to amazing breakthroughs, innovations, and creations for our life and our community.
The timing of being asked to write for this magazine came at such a serendipitous moment in my life, for another level of ‘coming out’. One that includes a new service offering for other artists, way-showers, and business leaders looking to get more visible in the online world. As well as some other exciting projects!
It’s an amazing journey the whole agreeing to be more visible. It’s messy and beautiful and one I love empowering others through.
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